John R. Hall
Little Ricky / John R. Hall

I have a Ph.D. in thieves, cheats, and liars and wonders that show no fire. It’s a byproduct of being born a Yankee Doodle Dandy and osculating between both sides of the tracks. I have stood on stages with thousands of people watching. I have performed for the elite, and have slept and dinned in the Five Star Suites.

“Yes, I was born to lowly circumstances. Yes, I ran with a bad crowd that taught me to smoke weed and steal. I hung out in bars. And I hot-wired cars. I grew up mistreated, so I lied and I cheated. I learned hard crime and I served hard time. I have walked that crooked road and I have danced with Satan. I’ve been down in the gutter….”1

….and rose back-up much better. I have been around. I have seen things no amount of passage of time will dim from my mind. My bullshit meter is ultra-sensitive. I can smell bullshit a mile away. And that’s a natural fact.

It’s been just a few days since the trumpets sounded at the U.S. Capital when the Donald became President Trump. That’s when the countdown parade to DEFCON 1 commenced. While the relative few attending trumpeters sang songs and began goose-steppin’ in unquestioning unison, continuing to slurp up the New Right Whites Reich’s Kool-Aid like some kind of dehydrated hyena stumbling upon a sewage filled swamp forced to drink from it because it’s the only fluid around.

Yep, it’s been just a few days, and the lies repeated from wretched mouths have been copious. Lies about crowd sizes, about the lack of trumpeters attending the Presidential Inauguration, about releasing taxes, all of which have spewed forth from the Trumpeter in Chief, The President of the United States and his high smelling rank and file.

While President Trump stood on hallowed ground in front of the wall honoring fallen patriots at CIA Headquarters, his delusional narcissism was on full display for all to see. It was inconceivable that at CIA headquarters, in front of the memorial to the sacred fallen, a president would cry out and repudiate the press and lie about crowd sizes. Oh my god, stop the movie, stop the music, stop the ride, please wake me up, do whatever it takes and return me to reality—for this cannot be really happening.

Not to be outdone by the president, White House Press Secretary, the now salacious Sean Spicer, who afore “On January 4, 2017 . . . said he could not do his job if he had to lie because it would hurt his credibility with the press,”2 stood hunched on his hindquarters–just like his Great Leader–and lied and skewed facts as follows: ”This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration—period!”3 Well, that’s one down because if he does not resign now he is, by his own words, unqualified to do his job due to lack of credibility. Look at the pictures Sean, and be on your way. . . .

That said, President Trump must also resign too because he said “I Will Never Lie to You.”4 Unfortunately, we are not dealing with honorable people here, but rather with laughing hyenas. So, both will remain in powerful position until forced in to the bunker to repeat a historical event that took place less than a year before Trump was born. That event took place in a bunker far away on April 30th, 1945.5 Let us pray that the repeat of history day comes sooner rather than later to minimize the destruction of our land and of her people.

Speaking of laughing hyenas, unlike President Trump and White House Press Secretary Spicer, both of whom have learned from the reptilian chameleons to disguise their appearance, presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway’s sunken eyes, grayed and dehydrated skin, and vicious smile exposes her as nothing more than a haughty, lying hyena.

That crazed out bitch, acting like she was under the influence of peyote without a spiritual guide, said the following from the White House lawn while appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press: “You’re saying it’s a falsehood and Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that.” To which a befuddled Chuck Todd could only respond by clearly stating: “Alternative facts are not facts. They are falsehoods.”6 One can only pray that when the administration heads into the bunker for that anticipated repeat of history day that Kellyanne takes her offspring with her and imitates Magda Goebbels. Because Conway’s string of DNA must fray apart and end–bet it too repeats history.

As I said, I have a Ph.D. in thieves, cheats, and liars and wonders that show no fire. I have been around. I have seen things, but, to quote with augmentation a Joe Tex song: “But I ain’t never in my life before seen so many [things] go wrong as I do today. I want you to stop and find out what’s wrong.”7

I never believed, nor expected that the conniving, lying, thieving, cheating, stealing, racist, Putin-penis-pulling Trump would release his taxes, as he promised to do once the elusive IRS audit was over.

Here’s why I feel the way I do about him and his crew, and especially Kellyanne Con-way: “The White House response is that he’s not going to release his tax returns*,”8 the snickering hyena, Conway, said on Sunday, January, 22nd, AD 2017, in, to quote Hunter S. Thompson, “this foul year of Our Lord” which has only just begun.


* Kellyanne Conway walked back that statement the following morning via Twitter. It remains the belief of the author that President Trump will not release his taxes but hopes he is proven wrong. See: Conway, Kellanne. “On taxes, answers (& repeated questions) are same from campaign: POTUS is under audit and will not release until that is completed. ” 23 January 2017, 7:01 AM. Tweet. Twitter

1Leap Of Faith. Staring Steve Martin. Directed Richard Pearce. Paramount Pictures. 1992.

2Reliable Sources. Host Brian Stelter. CNN. 22 January 2017. Video. Reliable Sources

3“Transcript of White House press secretary statement to the media.” POLITICO. 22 January 2017. Web 23 January 2017. Hunting For Thompson

4Smith, Candice. “Trump Apologizes for Words on Campaign Trail, Says ‘I Will Never Lie to You.'” ABC NEWS. 18 August 2016. Web 23 January 2017. Hunting For Thompson

5“1945 Adolf Hitler commits suicide in his underground bunker.” Web 23 January 2017. Hunting For Thompson

6Jaffe, Alexander. “Kellyanne Conway: WH Spokesman Gave ‘Alternative Facts’ on Inauguration Crowd.” NBC NEWS. 22 January 2017. Web 23 January 2017. Hunting For Thompson

7“The Love You Save (may be your own).” Tex, Joe.  Dial/Atlantic Records. 1966, Vinyl recording. Reliable Sources

8Bradner, Eric. “Conway: Trump will not release tax returns.” CNN. 22 January 2017. Web 23 January 2017. Hunting For Thompson

Copyright © 2017 – Hunting For Thompson – All Rights Reserved

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John has been described as a contrarian, a provocateur, and a polemicist. With the dexterity of a master magician, John's writing style forces readers to reexamine their positions and opinions on society, politics, and lifestyles. In his book, Red, White, and the Blues: A Long and Hard Ride over Treacherous Terrain, John interweaves a narrative of a life lived in constant motion while taking the reader along on his 2011 coast-to-coast motorcycle ride across the 48 contiguous states.