“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”—Matthew 7:15
Donald Trump’s followers act and look like they are under the influence of some mystic guru’s bag of magical hallucinogenic goodies. They have raised Trump up to cult leader status. Yet Trump remains disguised as a modern-day businessperson who metamorphosed into an American president, a president who was sent forth to redeem and clean America, to save her from these troubled days and unclean times, to separate her from a vile world and return her to her greatness, to her pureness—to her whiteness.
Trump is hoping to keep his true agenda hidden until the cyanide-laced Kool-Aid is brought forth . . . or until he unleashes nuclear annihilation. All cult leaders, when they are disgraced and their exposure and downfall are nigh, attempt to escape to the other side. Since they are lonely egomaniacs, they want to take the faithful with them. The faithful are always too eager to join their guru. Just ask Jim Jones of Jonestown, Guyana, fame, or Marshall Applewhite of Heaven’s Gate group. Well, we’ll either need to read up on those two or wait until we reach the other side to question them.
Trump’s seekers, whether gathered en masse or sitting alone saluting and conversing with a six-foot cardboard cutout of the great leader (Gene Huber’s graven image of choice), stand ready to carry out their contemporary savior’s sacred sacraments. After all, a Greater America—not virgins or streets of gold—is their reward. Due to that, Guru Trump has absolute power over them. So much so that they will even threaten a mother caring for her disabled child with physical harm if she dares to rise in opposition to their messiah.
Most cult leaders isolate their flock to ensure control and orderly execution of their master plan. Trump has no need for such logistical hassles. He has convinced and promised his rabid followers that the promised land is right here. They just need to allow him to “Make America Great Again.” That’s a heady metaphysical elixir. Trump does not need to conjure a visionary utopia on some faraway shore. Those are old, unneeded tricks, used by exposed cult leaders such as the amateurish—in comparison to the Great and Mighty Trump—Jim Jones.
While we await our destruction from the almighty and powerful guru Trump, let us take solace in 25 things, by-products of the rise of Trump, which did not exist for us before. We, the ones who see Trump as just another failed and flawed human being, a spiritual shyster, may rejoice in the following . . . which is making its rounds on Facebook and was originally provided by Susan Keller.
I agree with Terre (which is where I stumbled upon the list): “I love all of her points, but #9 (emoluments—spelling & meaning) and #22, really made me smile”:
- Unprecedented levels of ongoing civic engagement.
- Millions of Americans now know who their state and federal representatives are without having to Google.
- Millions of Americans are exercising more. They’re holding signs and marching every week.
- Alec Baldwin is great again. Everyone’s forgotten he’s kind of a jerk.
- The Postal Service is enjoying the influx of cash due to stamps purchased by millions of people for letter and postcard campaigns.
- Likewise, the pharmaceutical industry is enjoying record growth in sales of anti-depressants.
- Millions of Americans now know how to call their elected officials and know exactly what to say to be effective.
- Footage of town hall meetings is now entertaining.
- Tens of millions of people are now correctly spelling words like emoluments, narcissist, fascist, misogynist, holocaust and cognitive dissonance.
- Everyone knows more about the rise of Hitler than they did last year.
- Everyone knows more about legislation, branches of power and how checks and balances work.
- Marginalized groups are experiencing a surge in white allies.
- White people in record numbers have just learned that racism is not dead. (See #6.)
- White people in record numbers also finally understand that Obamacare IS the Affordable Care Act.
- Stephen Colbert’s “Late Night” finally gained the elusive #1 spot in late-night talk shows, and Seth Meyers is finding his footing as today’s Jon Stewart.
- “Mike Pence” has donated millions of dollars to Planned Parenthood since Nov. 9th.
- Trump has succeeded where thousands of history teachers failed—now everybody knows who Frederick Douglass was.
- Melissa FREAKING McCarthy.
- Travel ban protesters put $24 million into ACLU coffers in just 48 hours, enabling them to hire 200 more attorneys. Lawyers are now heroes.
- As people seek veracity in their news sources, respected news outlets are happily reporting a substantial increase in subscriptions, a boon to a struggling industry vital to our democracy.
- Live streaming court cases and congressional sessions are now as popular as the Kardashians.
- Massive cleanup of Facebook friend lists.
- People are reading classic literature again. Sales of George Orwell’s “1984” increased by 10,000% after the inauguration. (Yes, that is true. 10,000%. 9th grade Lit teachers all over the country are now rock stars.)
- More than ever before, Americans are aware that education is important. Like, super important.
- Now, more than any time in history, everyone believes that anyone can be president. Seriously, anyone. ~ Susan Keller
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