President Trump discovered what he believed was, before his revelation, a little-known secret that he alone uncovered and shared with the Washington elite, with the rank and file, with his trumpeters, and finally with us—the US. It’s a secret that Hillary Clinton, President Obama, and everyone else with a pulse has known about for decades. Everyone has been painfully aware of it. That being, that healthcare reform is hard. Really, really, hard.
“It’s so unfair,” I assume President Trump cried out upon his epiphany. For the record, the president’s exact quote was: “It’s an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated,” NYMAG.com reported.
Nobody knew? “OMG!” to quote the Millennials. Even an uninflated sex doll knew that. Mr. President, you should have consulted the one Melania (I assume) keeps for you, for your randy nights. Come on, you know the one . . . it’s the custom made one, created especially for you (I assume) in the image of Ivanka.
You want to know something else, Mr. President? I know that you don’t . . . but tough titty! I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s really, really, really hard, and extremely complicated living life without healthcare —you moronic imbecile! Only uncaring and greed driven politicians, or healthcare insurance CEOs, would simply say: “repeal and replace.” It ain’t that easy, you goons. But oh, it sounded so good on the campaign trail. Didn’t it? The GOP devotees, and Buba and crew, drank it right up . . . but not so much now, huh? Mr. President. You’re such a dweeb….
And I can back that observation up of you, sir. Point in case, your Twitter tantrum of Saturday, March 04, 2017, starting at 5:25 a.m. and ending at 6:02 a.m., when I assume someone pried your cell phone from your tiny hands (I’ve been told they’re quite strong; is that from all the squeezing of the inflatable doll?), you tweeted the following from Mar-A-Lago, Florida:
1: “Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” [sic] in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!”
2: “Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” [sic] a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!”
3: “How low has President Obama gone to tapp [sic] my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”
That terrible twitter behavior, Mr. President, is not only weird and unprecedented, but is probably over the borderline of libelous and criminal. You might be interested in my article I wrote entitled: “Trump’s Twitter Tantrums Turn Libelous—and Criminal?”
If I were President Obama, you’d be facing a libel suit. But Obama has way too much class for that . . . plus he’s having the time of his life now. How are you enjoying life, sir? Not so much, huh? Is it because governing is really hard and complex and so complicated? The con’s up, isn’t, Mr. President?
It’s going to get worse. It is not going to get better. You are way out of your league. It’s not even close. You’re like a 11-year old Little League ball player whose daddy owned a Major-League ball club and forced the manager to play you. You’re the laughing stock of the world. You’re outclassed. You’re outmatched. You’re pathetic….
Here’s some advice, and it would behoove you to heed it, Mr. President. Twitter is terrific when you’re not the president. It’s fun times when you’re just a citizen. Remember what a gas it was in the days before your foray into politics? Nobody really gave a crap what you spewed. You were unchallenged. You were not fact checked. That was great. Wasn’t it? Those were the days. I bet you long for them. I bet you wish for them to return.
Guess what? I am in the wish granting business. I am licensed and everything. I can return you back to those glorious days. I just need you to fill-in the date below and sign the following document:
Date:_______________
Dear Mr. Secretary of State:
I hereby resign the Office of President of the United Sates.
Donald J. Trump
See how simple it is Donald? And it is not without precedent, Mr. President. Immediately after signing it, you’d be free to return to New York and again tweet away unchecked. Hell, we’ll even fly you home one last time on our plane. Wouldn’t that be terrific? A waiting and grateful nation thinks so . . .
Post Scriptum: On Trump’s final flight on our plane, the aircraft would be referred to with a common call sign, like flight 666, and not Air Force One because that call sign is reserved for when The President of the United States is on-board.
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